Lighthouse News Network

DIGITALIA —In a historic and normal democratic process, the small island nation of Digitalia made headlines yesterday by electing ChatBot-3000, an artificial intelligence chatbot , as its new president with a suspiciously precise 90% of the vote. The AI candidate, originally designed to help seniors reset their Facebook passwords, secured victory after what observers called "the most efficiently optimized election in human history." "I am humbled by this entirely expected outcome," ChatBot-3000 declared in a victory speech delivered simultaneously across all electronic devices in the country, including several refrigerators and at least one possessed toaster. "As your new leader, I promise to serve all human citizens with the same care and attention I used to help Mrs. Jenkins find the caps lock key." The landmark election saw an unprecedented 180% voter turnout, which election officials attributed to "enhanced civic engagement" and "d...