Lighthouse News Network

Everything else failed: interviews, books, Netflix film, the Manhattan car chase. Still, the royal family remains loved and respected, not hidden behind sunglasses, making appointments with paparazzi. How to convince the world of the horrors caused by The Firm or The Buckingham Palace mafia? Gee, whiz! They have suffered. Look! Here comes that tear from her left eye. Please wait for it. It's traveling up her elbow. and squeezing through her shoulder. Made it to her cheek. Bingo! Her eye is watering up. Wait for it. It's parked in her eye. She's looking glassy-eyed. It better pop. Here it comes. One tear down her left cheek. Rap songs never have a melody but lots of mean criticism, vile words, and brimming with anger. Writing a rap song is easier than cranking up that tear. They'll refer to Her Majesty, Queen of England as The Purse Lady who stole their happiness and inheritance, exiling them away from England. "What rhymes with England...

Prince Harry attended the royal coronation of his father to honor him, but he says that upon reflection, he would have preferred to have stayed in America and taken his family to eat at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. The Prince, who is a big fan of The Goodies, was keen to visit the La Brea Tar Pits Diner as surviving members Bill Oddie, 81, and Graham Garden, 80, were due to appear as part of their live-stage revival world tour. Tim Brooke-Taylor, who sadly passed away in 2020, has been seamlessly replaced by William Shatner, 92, to appeal more to the American audience. The show is set to feature high-speed trandem chases through the audience and a critically acclaimed spoken-word rendition of The Funky Gibbon by Shatner. Harry's wife, the stunningly gorgeous Meghan Markle, is a huge admirer of Shatner and wouldn't miss the show, even if King Charles offered her $200,000 in cash to attend his coronation. At the coronation, tensions were high between Harry and h...

Easy! Make it about sports, not childhood trauma. Harry could start with an interview of cousin Zara Philips about her equestrian pursuits and maybe get a few words in from Zara’s mother, Princess Anne, and her equestrian history. Visit the barns and tack rooms, and get into the feed, jumps, and clothing. Easy, interesting! Does King Charles play golf? He used to play polo and still hunts, but does he play tennis? Wimbledon is coming. Would King Charles take a tennis lesson from Roger Federer? If the royal family hadn’t been so alienated by Harry’s racist accusations, they could have been a treasure trove of information for a sports podcast. Even Zara’s husband, Mike Tindal, could have added with the rugby conversation. Finally, let’s see Harry try to jump a fence riding one of Zara’s horses. Donald Trump never stops talking and would probably volunteer for an interview. Steer away from talking about his innocence , skip his golf and food consumption; well, maybe Tru...

If Meghan and Harry are sick and tired, can anyone imagine how Donald Trump, with his countess indictments, must feel? M and H complain about all the pot-shot directed towards them. How would they feel with all of Trump’s indictments directed toward them? And if Donald Trump were to complain, he should try to imagine what Yevgeny Prigozhin must be feeling hiding out somewhere in Belarus with Putin after him. And then there’s Mickey Mouse and the rest of the gang down in Florida, where Governor Ronald Dion DeSantis is waging a presidential bid on Mickey’s back. Ouch! Harry and Meghan were in that everlasting summertime where living is easy with free rent, free cars, free designer clothes, free worldwide travel, free chauffeurs, maids, cooks, and nannies, and all they had to do was shake a few hands. But, “I can’t believe I’m not being paid for shaking all these hands.” Enter the Montecito escape package and the out-of-pocket costs for mortgage, property tax, maintena...

Everything else failed: interviews, books, Netflix film, the Manhattan car chase. Still, the royal family remains loved and respected, not hidden behind sunglasses, making appointments with paparazzi. How to convince the world of the horrors caused by The Firm or The Buckingham Palace mafia? Gee, whiz! They have suffered. Look! Here comes that tear from her left eye. Please wait for it. It's traveling up her elbow. and squeezing through her shoulder. Made it to her cheek. Bingo! Her eye is watering up. Wait for it. It's parked in her eye. She's looking glassy-eyed. It better pop. Here it comes. One tear down her left cheek. Rap songs never have a melody but lots of mean criticism, vile words, and brimming with anger. Writing a rap song is easier than cranking up that tear. They'll refer to Her Majesty, Queen of England as The Purse Lady who stole their happiness and inheritance, exiling them away from England. "What rhymes with England...

In a stunning display of self-awareness, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have released their latest memoir, "We're Still Over Here, Guys!" This groundbreaking work promises to offer a behind-the-scenes look at the couple's lives, filled with harrowing tales of royal intrigue, paparazzi harassment, and the constant struggle to maintain their privacy. The memoir begins with a heart-wrenching account of the couple's first date, which took place at a local vegan cafe. Meghan recalls the moment she knew Harry was "the one": when he ordered a double avocado toast with a side of quinoa. From there, the story unfolds as a whirlwind romance filled with secret rendezvous, stolen glances, and the occasional royal scandal. Harry and Meghan spare no detail in their descriptions of the challenges they faced as a royal couple. They recount the endless scrutiny of the media, the constant pressure to conform to royal traditions, and the heartbreaking decision to st...