John Lithgow to Play Dumbledore in HBO’s Harry Potter, brilliant
HOGSMEADE—In a casting decision that has left both wizards and muggles clutching their Sorting Hats in confusion, HBO has officially announced that award-winning actor John Lithgow will take on the role of Albus Dumbledore in its upcoming Harry Potter series . The move has been described as “bold,” “unexpected,” and “a potential threat to the structural integrity of Hogwarts.”
Lithgow, known for his roles as a deranged serial killer ( Dexter ), a deranged alien ( 3rd Rock from the Sun ), and a deranged Winston Churchill ( The Crown ), is expected to bring a fresh, theatrical, and potentially unhinged energy to the beloved Hogwarts headmaster.
“We’re excited to reimagine Dumbledore in a way that HBO viewers expect: morally complex, occasionally terrifying, and with at least one brutal dragon fight per season,” said an HBO executive, adjusting their unnecessarily dark and moody Hogwarts scarf. “This won’t be your grandfather’s Dumbledore—unless your grandfather is an eccentric Sh...