Tsarukyan's Back? More Like Tsarukyan's Back OUT!
In a stunning display of athletic commitment that would make a porcelain doll wince, UFC fighter Arman "The Armenian Assassin" Tsarukyan has withdrawn from his highly anticipated bout at UFC 311 due to a gasp injury . Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, the man known for his relentless grappling and bone-crushing takedowns has succumbed to the age-old foe of athletes everywhere: something vaguely muscle-related.
The news sent a ripple of confusion through the MMA world, a tremor so slight it barely registered on the Richter scale of Dana White meltdowns. After all, who could have predicted such a development? Here was a fighter, a man seemingly forged from equal parts granite and fight milk, brought low by something as pedestrian as a pulled hamstring (or, as some reports speculate, a particularly aggressive game of patty-cake gone wrong).
Theories about Tsarukyan's untimely demise have run rampant across the MMA internet, a breeding ground for speculation w...