British Museum Stunned to Discover That Everything They Took from Other Countries Actually Belongs to Those Countries
LONDON – In a development that sent shockwaves through the tweed-wearing elite, the British Museum has been thrown into disarray after a recent discovery challenged their very raison d'etre. Apparently, a rogue intern tasked with dusting a particularly dusty corner of the Rosetta Stone exhibit stumbled upon a shocking revelation: the artifacts on display might, gasp, actually belong to the cultures they were "acquired" from.
"It's all quite unsettling," confided Bartholomew Featherbottom III, a curator with a monocle perpetually perched upon one eye. "Imagine our surprise when young Mildred unearthed a cuneiform tablet explicitly stating the Elgin Marbles were, in fact, not a parting gift from Lord Elgin, but rather… looted from the Parthenon." This revelation has plunged the museum into existential despair. Decades spent cultivating the image of a benevolent institution showcasing "the march of civilization" have apparently been bui...