Lighthouse News Network

Tickety Boo News reporter Grover Buck first broke the story about a Buckingham Palace guard actually being an Al-Qaeda operative. Buck said that he got the scoop from record producer and businessman Simon Cowell. Cowell reportedly heard the rumor from his landscaper, who is originally from Afghanistan. Buckingham Palace spokesperson Nigel Foote met with King Charles and Queen Consort Camilla Parker Bowles, and in the interest of safety, the palace guard named Sham Tu Youseff has been relieved of his duty and is being interrogated by two members of Scotland Yard. Meanwhile King Charles said that he will be replacing Youseff with a cousin of his ex-wife Princess Diane, Bernard F. Kryler. https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/king-charles-addresses-the-rumor-that-one-of-the-buckingham-palace-royal-guards-is-an-al-qaeda-terrorist/?feed_id=11307&_unique_id=674dcc5db486f

King Charles had a run in his stocking, but he couldn't find a seamstress – the kind they had in the good old days of the 19th century, possibly a three-year-old covered in soot, smoking cigars, and hacking out a lung or two – so he must do it himself. The Queen said she "shall neither knit nor sew nor touch string in any of its forms," so Charles is scuppered there too. He asked the poor suckers who wash his dishes and cook his food and who make sure the toilet paper on the roll is hanging the correct royal way, and still they all said, "We don't know how to do that, Your Lordship." He sent his nylons out to the Royal Stitcher (if that doesn't sound like a horror movie waiting to happen) who then said, "Too busy, Your Kingliness. I have torn knickers all over me shop. Ever since Your Person became officially Kingly, the British public have been at it like rabbits, thinking things will never change, the medieval will always exist in ...

In a shocking revelation, Ta Ta For Now News reporter Petula Tart unveils the surprising decision of the King to put the historic Windsor Castle up for sale. The King explained to Miss Tart, the 954-year-old castle is facing an array of challenges, ranging from a dire shortage of functional toilets to the urgent need for extensive roof repairs on the fox hunt horse stables. As if that wasn't enough, the castle's majestic tower has fallen victim to centuries of stubborn fog residue. In a candid statement, Charles expressed his reluctance to shoulder the exorbitant repair costs, hinting at a desire to explore alternative options for the regal residence alongside his beloved queen. The King had considered sending Camilla out on the game to scrape in a few quid, but he says that since turning 75, she just doesn't have the stamina any more to even open a pot of gentlemen's relish. The potential sale of this iconic symbol of British heritage has sent shockw...

Hold onto your scarves footy fans because King Charles recently spilled the beans to none other than our roving reporter, Petula Tart, from The Ta Ta For Now News Agency . And what's all the buzz about? A little bit of football, a lot of royalty, and a dash of schoolyard nostalgia! The new king, known for his passion for the 'beautiful game,' revealed that he and Camilla, the Queen Consort, are giving serious thought to buying Wembley Stadium. When Prince Charles was just a lad, he and his schoolyard chums used to love playing with their balls in the schoolyard. Fast forward to today, and he's contemplating owning the legendary Wembley turf. What's even more charming is his wish to rename the stadium in honor of his dear mum. The king's grand idea was sparked when he caught the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin rocking Wembley two years ago. Since then, he's been brainstorming how to host epic royal rock concerts, with him featuring centre-s...