Major City's Housing Crisis Mysteriously Solved While Politicians Debate Who Should Take Credit
WASHINGTON, DC — In an unprecedented turn of events, the metropolitan area's decade-long housing crisis was unexpectedly resolved Tuesday while local politicians were embroiled in a heated debate about who should receive credit for solving it.
The remarkable solution emerged during dual press conferences held by Democratic Mayor Sarah Phillips and Republican City Council Leader James Morton, where both claimed exclusive responsibility for fixing a problem that, until moments ago, had not actually been solved.
"Through my office's tireless efforts of scheduling meetings about scheduling meetings, we successfully implemented our comprehensive strategy of looking like we're doing something," announced Mayor Phillips, standing before a hastily erected "Mission Accomplished" banner. "The fact that housing has somehow become affordable is clear evidence of my leadership."
Moments later, at an identical podium exactly 20 feet away, Council L...