Trump Proposes ‘Trump Tower Gaza’ as Solution to Conflict
PALM BEACH, FL— In a bold move hailed by absolutely no one in the diplomatic community, President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest plan for Middle East peace: a five-star luxury casino in the heart of Gaza.
Speaking at a Mar-a-Lago fundraiser attended mostly by people who already own at least three yachts , Trump announced his vision for Trump Tower Gaza , a gold-plated skyscraper that he claims will “bring peace, prosperity, and, most importantly, exclusive VIP suites” to the war-torn region.
“Folks, the problem with Gaza? No good real estate,” Trump told the crowd. “No luxury. No class. People are fighting because they don’t have a beautiful place to lose all their money. That’s why we’re gonna fix it. Trump Tower Gaza. Very elegant. Very exclusive. The best.”
A Peace Plan You Can Bet On
According to the totally serious press release from the Trump Organization, the proposed casino-resort will feature:
A 24-hour gambling floor where war-weary locals can...