Biden's Secret Weapon: A Time Machine to Remind Voters of the Previous Administration
WASHINGTON — In a bold move to address what White House officials are calling "selective electoral amnesia," President Biden unveiled his administration's latest campaign strategy Wednesday: a time machine designed to transport voters back to "those four years we all try to forget."
The device, resembling a hybrid between a voting booth and a DeLorean, was dramatically unveiled during a White House press briefing, where it immediately began emitting concerning sounds reminiscent of old tweets being forcibly reshared.
"This is absolutely, positively, not just a PowerPoint presentation of old news clips," insisted Dr. Marty McPresent, the newly appointed Head of Temporal Voter Engagement. "What we have here is cutting-edge technology powered by pure unredacted tweets and residual covfefe energy."
According to totally real Pentagon documents about "Operation Remember When," the time machine has undergone rigorous testing with...