Lighthouse News Network

Despite media reports saying she wouldn't attend the coronation, Meghan Markle, or Merkle or MarkieMark, made an unexpected appearance. She stood, biting her tongue, as she gazed at the grandeur, trying to resist the urge to shout to the flying buttresses, "Where's my crown!" Meghan didn't appreciate the fact that everyone seemed to be receiving a crown, a hand grenade, or a sceptre—everyone except for her. "Harry! Do something!" she pleaded. Although Harry made an effort, he's still low on the family totem pole. (Andrew's lower, but he didn't receive a crown either.) As the black sheep of the family, nobody would listen to him. (No comment... sometimes black just means, well, black... nothing more, the Royal Watchers assure this reporter.) "I want a crown! I want a crown NOW! Heads will roll!" Meghan's voice echoed behind the scenes, where the rich and flowing robes were en route to the dry cleaners. In a ...

Everything else failed: interviews, books, Netflix film, the Manhattan car chase. Still, the royal family remains loved and respected, not hidden behind sunglasses, making appointments with paparazzi. How to convince the world of the horrors caused by The Firm or The Buckingham Palace mafia? Gee, whiz! They have suffered. Look! Here comes that tear from her left eye. Please wait for it. It's traveling up her elbow. and squeezing through her shoulder. Made it to her cheek. Bingo! Her eye is watering up. Wait for it. It's parked in her eye. She's looking glassy-eyed. It better pop. Here it comes. One tear down her left cheek. Rap songs never have a melody but lots of mean criticism, vile words, and brimming with anger. Writing a rap song is easier than cranking up that tear. They'll refer to Her Majesty, Queen of England as The Purse Lady who stole their happiness and inheritance, exiling them away from England. "What rhymes with England...

In a stunning display of self-awareness, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have released their latest memoir, "We're Still Over Here, Guys!" This groundbreaking work promises to offer a behind-the-scenes look at the couple's lives, filled with harrowing tales of royal intrigue, paparazzi harassment, and the constant struggle to maintain their privacy. The memoir begins with a heart-wrenching account of the couple's first date, which took place at a local vegan cafe. Meghan recalls the moment she knew Harry was "the one": when he ordered a double avocado toast with a side of quinoa. From there, the story unfolds as a whirlwind romance filled with secret rendezvous, stolen glances, and the occasional royal scandal. Harry and Meghan spare no detail in their descriptions of the challenges they faced as a royal couple. They recount the endless scrutiny of the media, the constant pressure to conform to royal traditions, and the heartbreaking decision to st...