Lighthouse News Network

Two of America's top singers, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez have gone into the recording studio and recorded an anti-Donald Trump song. The pair went into the Round and Round Recording Studio in El Segundo, California and recorded a song that was written by Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. The song is titled, "Hey You Orange Complected US Tax Evader, Why Don't You Go Jump In a Fucking Active Volcano." Paul and Ringo said that 99.8% of all of their British relatives and friends in the United Kingdom hate Trump more than woodpeckers hate pecking on concrete piers. Meanwhile Britney's new boyfriend Anderson Cooper says he plans to have Brit and J.Lo on his show so they can reveal at least two dozen reasons why the tangerine colored Whale (Trump) needs to be incarcerated as soon as possible. https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/britney-spears-and-jennifer-lopez-record-an-anti-trump-song/?feed_id=14399&_unique_id=67bd08debde0c

Prince William, who has been known to have a bit of a wandering eye, much like his womanizing uncle Prince Andrew, is denying rumors that he and a very popular pole dancer were spotted holding hands at "The 'Ello Mate Strip Club" in Soho. The dancer who greatly resembles Britney Spears , has been identified as Fawn JoJo Hunsucker, 26, whose vital stats are 38D-24-36. Meanwhile Wils has said that he does not really care for blondes, and even less for blondes who have big, erotic, sensuous, kissable tits like Miss Hunsucker. An eyewitness, who also is a pole dancer at "The 'Ello Mate Strip Club," said that the prince was wearing a name tag that read "Hi, I'm Prince William." https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/prince-william-and-the-soho-pole-dancer/?feed_id=14523&_unique_id=67a8bdd4b4567

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Britney Spears has had two kids and she recently revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talk writer Carolina Chipotle that some of her feminine body parts are not as nubile, perky, and frisky as they used to be. The 41-year-old singer, dancer, actress, marathon runner smiled as she said that her ass is hanging about an inch or so lower than it was last year. Brit expressed that her breasts are not as perky as they used to be, but she did state that, following a specialist corrective procedure, she is thrilled that her vagina is now tighter than the lid of a jar of pickles! Spears' new boyfriend, CNN's Anderson Cooper, was recently photographed by paparazzi looking like he had been mauled and scratched by a ferocious cougar... Well, maybe he just had... https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/britney-spears-reveals-that-she-had-a-vagina-tightening-procedure-done/?feed_id=11379&_unique_id=674e126bb4ed2

LaLaLand Daily reports that three of the hottest females have just signed to star in the Bravisimo Network reality show, "The Misadventures of The Cougar MILFs." Willow Tulsa with LaLa, stated that Britney Spears, Kim Kardashian, and Kate Gosselin will soon begin shooting on their brand new reality TV show. According to the show's producer, the three women will be living in the "Adults Only" exclusive Lady Chatterley apartment complex in Redondo Beach. Britney will star as Jenny Snuggle, who works as a pole dancer, Kim will portray Lupita De La Panocha, who is employed as a masseuse, and Kate will star as Cassie Nippawood, who just recently divorced her fourth husband because he, like the other three could not satisfy her nymphomaniac personality. Starring as the apartment landlord will be Ronda Rousey who will be portraying a hard core butch lesbian, who falls in love with each one of the three. The show is sponsored by Feminine Deodorant ...

Britney Spears recently told Traci Diddle with the National Rumblings that she was shocked to learn that Anderson Cooper is quite the stud in the kitchen...wait...kitchen?! She told Miss Diddle that she had always heard that he played for the other team, but damn was she wrong. She noted that he has no inclinations to vegetarianism at all - he's a red-meat man through and through! Spears said that she and Andy, as she calls him got matching tattoos to celebrate their new found friendship. When asked what the tattoo was, Brit giggled, took a sip of her El Matador Tequila and said that the two lovebirds had vowed to keep it a secret, but rumous are that Anderson has a big Oscar Meyer wiener and Britney has a big open hot dog bun, dripping with mayo. https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/britney-spears-and-anderson-cooper-get-matching-tattoos/?feed_id=10619&_unique_id=6748bf9eb4f2f

One of the nation's most unlikely couple is quickly becoming "America's Favorite Couple." Blonde songstress Britney "Oops! I Did It Again" Spears and her so-called BFF Anderson "Andy" Cooper were recently spotted down in Cabo San Lucas' infamous nude beach, La Playa Nudista . An eye witness said that the couple were both as naked as jaybirds, and paparazzi were trying desperately to snap a pic of their new famous matching tattoos . He reported that Britney was singing love songs to Coop as he read a copy of The National Inquirer. Pico de Gallo, with Tittle Tattle Tonight , said that he knows both Brit and Andy very well and he hasn't seen a happier couple since Taylor Swift and Anson Mount. ■ https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/britney-spears-and-anderson-cooper-spotted-frolocking-at-a-nude-beach-down-in-cabo-san-lucas-mexico/?feed_id=9628&_unique_id=6744d7de14fad

The US DEA has just stated that Britney Spears' "Just Say Hell No To Drugs" program is a tremendous hit in 49 of the states. A spokesman for the DEA, Lionel Boocastle, divulged that the only state where the drug program did not work was in Alabama. When Boocastle was asked why the anti-drug program did not work in the "Cotton Pickin' State," he replied, "I have no effen idea - It really and truly beats the damn hell out of me." One longtime resident of Alabama, Cletus "Bubba" Woodgood, 71, stated that he believes that the reason for the program's failure, is due to the fact that Alabamians are a proud group of individuals and no one, not even Uncle Sam and especially not Britney Spears is going to tell them what the fuck they can do and not do. ■ https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/britney-spears-just-say-no-to-drugs-program-is-a-big-success-in-49-states/?feed_id=9731&_unique_id=67438056b48f6