World Leaders Agree to Ban Clouds for Causing Too Much Shade
In a move that climatologists are calling "the dumbest thing I've heard since flat-Earthers started selling cruises," world leaders have unanimously agreed to ban clouds . Citing a "global vitamin D deficiency crisis" and a "concerning drop in sunglass sales," the international community has declared fluffy white menaces in the sky public enemy number one.
"For too long, we've been held hostage by these tyrannical moisture moguls," declared a visibly tanned Prime Minister Boris Johnson during a press conference held poolside in his Downing Street backyard. "They block out the sun, our glorious, life-giving sun! It's time we took back control of our skies and embraced the eternal sunshine we deserve."
Experts, meanwhile, are scratching their heads faster than a dandruff-stricken toupee in a hurricane. "Clouds play a vital role in regulating Earth's temperature and distributing precipitation," explained Dr....