New Study Reveals 97% of Public Servants Still Confused by the Concept of 'Public Service'
In a shocking exposé that will leave taxpayers with a newfound appreciation for their overflowing wallets, a recent study has unearthed a truth more damning than a misspelling in a government memo: a staggering 97% of public servants are utterly clueless about the meaning of "public service."
The bombshell report, conducted by the esteemed Institute for the Study of Obvious Things (ISOT), surveyed over 10,000 public employees across a diverse range of departments. From the Department of Redundant Paperwork to the Bureau of Unnecessary Delays, the results were as uniform as a freshly printed stack of identical forms: utter bewilderment.
"The concept of public service appears to be a complete mystery to the vast majority of those employed by the public," declared Professor Harold "Clueless" McGruff, lead researcher at ISOT. "When asked to define the term, responses ranged from 'a paid vacation with dental' to 'ritualistic coffee breaks...