Jeff Bezos’ New Workout: Lifting Bags of Money While Dodging Taxes
SEATTLE — In an exciting new development for the billionaire fitness community, Jeff Bezos has revealed the secret behind his chiseled physique: an intense, full-body workout regimen centered entirely around lifting massive bags of money.
The Amazon founder and occasional space tourist took to social media this week to unveil his fitness routine, which he claims has transformed his body and strengthened his grip on global wealth. "People ask me, ‘Jeff, how do you stay in such incredible shape?’” Bezos said in a video, flexing in front of a stack of gold bars. “The answer is simple: resistance training. Specifically, resisting the urge to pay taxes while lifting bags of cash.”
"It’s All About Financial Weightlifting"
According to Bezos, his unique routine focuses on functional strength—the kind required to haul enormous sacks of unspent worker wages, untaxed profits, and stock buybacks over his head like a deranged Santa Claus.
"Every morning, I start w...
