Biden's New Plan: A Nap and a Snack, and Maybe a Nap Later
WASHINGTON — In a groundbreaking announcement that's being hailed as "the most comfortable policy initiative in American history," President Biden unveiled his latest executive action today: The National Rest and Refresh Initiative (RRI), which mandates scheduled naps, designated snack times, and the possibility of additional naps if the first ones weren't satisfactory.
Speaking from the newly renovated White House Comfort Room, complete with memory foam recliners and ambient sound machines, the President detailed his vision while dressed in presidential pajamas with embroidered eagles. "Look, folks, here's the deal: Every great nation was built on three things — dedication, perseverance, and a good afternoon snooze," Biden declared, occasionally glancing at the specially designed teleprompter mounted above his orthopedic pillow.
The comprehensive plan, spanning 47 pages of large-print text with generous margins for doodling, introduces several gro...