Lighthouse News Network

In a move that economists are calling "unprecedented" and "possibly the result of a particularly potent batch of cafeteria brownies," the Biden administration today unveiled its latest weapon in the fight against inflation: the Inflation Reduction Trampoline (IRT). "For far too long, the American people have been burdened by the crushing weight of rising prices," declared President Biden, bouncing enthusiastically on a miniature trampoline set up in the Oval Office. "That's why I'm proud to announce the Inflation Reduction Trampoline – a revolutionary economic tool that will literally jumpstart our economy and send those pesky price tags plummeting!" The brainchild of Dr. Bartholomew "Bounce" Bonkers, a self-proclaimed "unorthodox economist" with a penchant for brightly colored jumpsuits, the IRT operates on a series of, shall we say, unconventional principles. "Imagine the economy as a giant deflated beac...