HOLLYWOOD — In a stunning move that no one could have possibly seen coming except for literally everyone, DreamWorks Animation has officially announced Shrek 5 will introduce a brand-new character: Shrek’s long-lost brother, Brock the Ogre, a smooth-talking, ruggedly handsome, and completely unnecessary addition to the Shrekuniverse. Even less shocking? He will be voiced by Chris Pratt.
“Fans have been waiting years for a Shrek sequel, and we wanted to make sure we delivered something fresh, exciting, and, most importantly, completely dictated by market research,” said a DreamWorks spokesperson at a press conference, standing in front of a 60-foot cardboard cutout of Chris Pratt flexing. “Brock is the fun, relatable, and slightly more attractive alternative to Shrek, perfect for today’s audiences who demand protagonists that look like they have a personal trainer.”
A Brother With a Conveniently Marketable Backstory
According to DreamWorks, Brock the Ogre is Shrek’s younger, estranged brother who was separated at birth and raised in a different, more conventionally handsome swamp. While Shrek spent his formative years scaring villagers and living in filth, Brock was allegedly “too charming” to live in a swamp, instead finding success as a professional adventurer, entrepreneur, and fitness influencer.
DreamWorks insists Brock’s backstory “organically” fits into the existing lore and was in no way forced into the plot to extend the franchise another decade. “The emotional core of Shrek 5 is about brotherly love, forgiveness, and selling more merch,” said a studio executive. “We can’t wait for kids to argue over whether they want a Brock plushie or a classic Shrek toy, even though the choice is obviously Brock.”
Chris Pratt: The Unofficial Voice of Every Animated Character Ever
Critics have already raised questions about Chris Pratt’s involvement in yet another major animated franchise, to which DreamWorks has responded, “He tested well with focus groups.” Despite a vocal range that has been described as “Chris Pratt” to “Chris Pratt, but slightly louder”, the studio insists Pratt was always the first choice for Brock the Ogre.
“We auditioned dozens of actors, but at the end of the day, Chris just had that special something—a multi-million-dollar contract with every major animation studio,” said casting director Jennifer Longley. “He brings a unique energy to Brock that feels fresh, new, and almost exactly like Star-Lord but in a swamp.”
Fans were quick to speculate whether Pratt will attempt a Scottish accent like Mike Myers’ Shrek, but sources close to production say that’s unlikely. “We realized Brock grew up in a different swamp, one that inexplicably gave him a generic American accent,” said a producer. “It’s definitely not because Chris Pratt refuses to do voice work beyond his regular speaking voice. That would be ridiculous.”
A Necessary Sequel or Just Another Nostalgia Cash Grab?
Many have questioned whether Shrek 5 is actually necessary, given that the franchise wrapped up fairly definitively with Shrek Forever After. DreamWorks, however, insists the world desperately needs more Shrek content.
“We’ve seen a huge resurgence in Shrek memes, TikTok edits, and ironic appreciation over the past few years, so it only made sense to capitalize on that,” said a marketing strategist while adjusting his “Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life” hat. “The thing about nostalgia is, as long as people keep yearning for the past, we can keep profiting off it. It’s a beautiful cycle.”
Industry insiders report that if Shrek 5 is successful, DreamWorks will fast-track a Brock the Ogre spinoff film and a potential Shrek Cinematic Universe (SCU), which may eventually crossover with The Minions franchise for a multiverse event so powerful it will single-handedly destroy cinema as an art form.
What’s Next for the Shrek Franchise?
With Shrek 5 set for release in 2026, speculation is already swirling about future plotlines. Leaked storyboards suggest DreamWorks is considering a grim, gritty reboot of Shrek, featuring a divorced, washed-up ogre struggling with his swamp being foreclosed on due to rising property taxes.
Meanwhile, unverified rumors claim that DreamWorks has already started developing a Lord Farquaad origin story, tentatively titled Farquaad: Rise of the Manlet, which will explore the emotional trauma that turned him into the ruthless dictator of Duloc. Insiders say the studio is considering Timothée Chalamet for the lead role, ensuring that even the evilest characters must be played by attractive men.
Shrek 5: The Inevitable Conclusion
Ultimately, whether Shrek 5 is a bold new chapter or just another nostalgia-fueled cash grab doesn’t really matter—because we’re all going to watch it anyway. The second that first trailer drops, and Smash Mouth’s All Star starts playing, society will crumble under the weight of its own nostalgia, and we will once again pledge allegiance to the swamp.
So mark your calendars, prepare your best ogre impressions, and get ready for a cinematic experience that is sure to make you laugh, cry, and question why Hollywood insists on bringing back everything except original ideas.
Because at the end of the day, we all know the truth: Shrek is inevitable.
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